When the moon hits your eyes like a big pizza pie…..

Well hello there!

I am writing this in a Hogwarts Express style train carriage en route from Venice, Italy to Salzburg, Vienna.

Our journey from Leeds to Venice was fairly hellish… we took a silly train to Manchester airport which stopped at every small village possible. Then the flight was delayed, but that didn’t stop them from opening the gate and shepherding a flight’s worth of people into a tiny waiting corridor. Passport check in Venice took over an hour of standing in an unmoving queue (thank god for kindles) we then had to find a boat into the centre of Venice. There was a forty minute wait here whilst I lay on my backpack, mouth completely parched (no shops were open) eating a tea of the digestives I’d shoved in my backpack. It was quite nice in a way. It felt like travelling again. The boat arrived, it was pitch black by this point, and it took 1 hour and 45 minutes until we got to Saint Mark’s square. By this time it was gone midnight and we were exhausted with pounding dehydration headaches, Tom muttering that he was on the brink of drinking his own urine.

Anyway, this ranty bit has been the only bad bit of the trip so far. We walked across Saint Mark’s square, and checked into Hotel Noemi. Thank you so much to James and Nikk for the hotel stay, it was absolutely beautiful!

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Day one

The next day we had a cheese galore breakfast in the hotel, then went to pick up our museum tickets from the Doges Palace. Shout out to my sister-in-law (!) Katie for the museum tickets! We spent a good hour gaping at the ceiling in the Doge’s Palace, then went around Saint Mark’s Bassilica, which was equally lavish.


The rest of the day was spent in and out of museums, with Tom stopping to browse EVERY SINGLE restaurant menu en route. (This made me laugh after months of him doing this all around Asia, despite the fact that we’d usually just eaten!) Most of the day was spent wandering little side streets, stopping along the way for gelato. Massive thank you to Linsey, Lesley Richard and Scott for keeping us topped up in icecream (lemon, pistachio, tiramisu, chocolate, peanut butter in case you’re wondering) I also ate a meringue covered in dark chocolate that was so big I’ve been put off meringues for a while. We won’t be getting married again soon because there’s no way I’ll get back in that dress haha.
We stumbled across a lovely little canal side restaurant a bit off the beaten track where we had pizza, pasta, prossecco and Aperol Spritz.

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After being slapped with an obscene service charge we found a litre of limoncello in the supermarket for four euros, went back to the hotel and necked the bottle of wedding champagne Tom had popped in his backpack. We found the pub district…. (old habits die hard) and drank a few bevvies whilst people watching by the canal as the sunset. A beautiful first day! Thank you to Meg, Laura and Susie for the Italian cuisine money, we have taken eating and drinking quite seriously!

I’m interrupting this diary for a brief haiku written by my husband:

The sinking city
Made up of water and stones
Quick! Get in your boat

Day two

We got up fairly early and got a vaparetto to this island of Murano, which is famous for its glass-blowing factories. Tom was distinctly unimpressed by the glass shops saying “It’s all quite tacky isn’t it?!” But that didn’t stop me from buying a small glass goldfish in a globe…

We then got back on the boat to Burano, famous for its brightly coloured buildings. It was really beautiful, and great to see in the sun. The last time I came to Venice, it was November (I think) about ten years ago, and the light really does feel different at this time of year.


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It’s most definitely high season, there are HORDES of tourists, but it’s still beautiful. I’d just like to say that there is a special level of hell reserved for the following however:

People who stop suddenly in doorways

People with selfie sticks
People who give wheelie bags to their children

Just no.

In the afternoon, we went back to Venice, and hired a gondola. Special shout out to Leanne and Louie, and also the Bryers’ for their wedding gift. It was an absolute delight. I was concerned that we’d be just bashing into other boats but it was really serene, and so quiet compared to the rest of Venice, and a really great way to see little alleyways and entrances to swanky hotels you can only reach from the water.

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Plus, I didn’t fall in or humiliate myself in any way…. until…

We were walking across a square and I could see the back of a buggy with what I thought was a curly-haired toddler sat in it. I said very loudly “WHO ON EARTH DOES THIS BABY BELONG TO?!” And then passed the buggy to see a curly-haired middle aged woman glaring up at me.
I’m not really sure
A) Why she was sat in a buggy or
B) Why I was so loudly concerned but oh well.

We bought a gigantic four cheese pizza from a takeaway shop and a bottle of bellini and sat dangling our legs by the canal and watched the gondolas go by. I’m not sure why we’re happy as larry like this despite being on our honeymoon… maybe it was getting ripped off a bit the night before, or maybe the backpacker mentality will never leave us! We waddled back to the hotel for a lie down then went back to saint Mark’s square to watch the musicians and devour a final gelato.


Venice was beautiful, I loved it.

Anyway, i was joking about this train having dementors on it, but there actually is one in our carriage in the form of a miserable old bint dressed head to toe in black who has just bollucked me in Italian for typing too loudly so that’s me over and out. Next stop: Salzburg!


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